Today is a day of “forced rest.” Every now and then, my body gets caught in overdrive and I believe God sends me illness as a forced rest–a day to stop, reflect, contemplate, and reset. Today is one of those days.
I wrote the following a few months back, but today God brings it back to mind. Why? I have a natural tendency to put way more pressure on myself than others actually put on me. This leads to overwhelm and feeling like I cannot keep up. I get caught up in feeling “pressure” rather than moving from a place of “presence.” I needed to read these words again God previously spoke to me.
I have a habit of putting insane pressure on myself. (Who can relate?! ) I’ve been moving in the direction of what God is leading me into, and I started feeling this suffocating pressure. My mental dialogue was filled with “What if X happens? What if I can’t do X? I should be doing X! What if I can’t keep up?!” etc.
I’ve realized when I am putting pressure on myself, I am focused on myself. I feel like everything is “on me,” and I’m doing things alone. As a human, I know I fall short. I can’t be all things to all people. I can’t come up with the exact right words to say to someone when they need it. I can’t juggle everything in life in my own strength.
God has been reminding me, over and over again in the last few weeks, His presence is what I need, not pressure. When I seek God’s presence by tuning in, obeying step by step, and letting Him guide me, He will be with me. He will work through me. He will use me. I may fall short, but His power is made perfect in my weakness. I may not have the right words to say in every moment, but He will speak through me and use me when I hide His words in my heart. I can’t juggle everything in my own strength, but He gives me the strength to fulfill whatever His call is on my life.
Isn’t it a relief to know we don’t have to do things alone? We are off the hook. Pressure (self imposed, or from outside sources) feels heavy. In His presence, effort is still required, but there is an ease. His yoke is easy, and His burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30)
I choose “presence,” not pressure.
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