I’ve done a lot of prayerful soul searching over the years, especially more recently. If you have read anything I have shared in the past, you know I have completely changed the way I approach my nutrition career, and my own approach to health.
I’ve been trying to find the best way to describe why. You can know something is right in your heart, but struggle to find the best way to put it into words for others.
Over the past week or so, it hit me.
FREEDOM
Freedom, true freedom, is the driving force.
I realized that I was not truly living free, and many of those I have served in the past were not living free either. And God wants us to truly live free.
Freedom is the reason I’ve abandoned trying to “control” my weight all the time, rather than tuning in to what my body needs, taking care of it, and letting my weight be where it naturally wants to be.
As long as I was always wanting to just lose X number of pounds, or tone up just a little more, I was constantly chasing an ideal that would never satisfy. It is a pursuit that keeps you living in anxiety over losing said “control.” It is a journey that keeps you focused on what is temporary, rather than on what is eternal.
I held on to this “control” for so long, even after abandoning an (undiagnosed) eating disorder in high school, and letting go of disordered eating and exercise behaviors I carried through college. Over the years, I’ve been craving freedom, full freedom, without even knowing it. I was craving it even though I was afraid to embrace it.
Once I did, it was glorious.
I want freedom for you too.
Freedom to let go of dieting.
Freedom to eat without guilt.
Freedom to eat foods you enjoy and feel satisfied.
Freedom to move for the fun of it, not to shrink your body.
Freedom to let go of the food police.
Freedom to let go of scales, counting calories, and points.
Freedom to let go of shame around food, eating, and your body.
Freedom to live your life right now, not when you lose X number of pounds.
Freedom to let your body do what it wants to do—regulate your hunger, fullness, and weight.
Freedom to eat when you are hungry, and provide your body the nourishment it needs.
Freedom to stop eating when you are full—not because you have to, but because you are free to eat that food anytime you want.
Freedom to stop weight cycling and let your body settle where it wants to be.
Freedom to accept yourself.
Freedom to love and accept others too, no matter what size or shape they are, and embrace that we were created to be different.
Freedom to take care of yourself—NOT because you feel like you “should” or “have to,” but because you want to in order to feel good in the body you are in, and have the energy to live the life you want. (Don’t feel bad if you are not there yet. It is a journey for us all.)
Once I chose freedom, I never looked back.
It is so hard to let go of this perceived “control” in a world that glorifies weight loss, dieting, miserable eating, punitive exercise, and body hate…but so worth it. Instead of fighting yourself, why not fight this pressure to always change yourself? Why not live free, accepting where you are, and just care for yourself, whatever that means for you?
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[…] When I choose love, I am able to make decisions out of faith/trust rather than fear. When I choose love, I can step out in faith and know God is working through me, rather than keep an ongoing record of my perceived wrongs. When I choose love, I can be patient and kind with myself, just as I would be with someone I love, rather than put insane pressure on myself to perform a certain way. Choosing love and choosing to see myself as God sees me helped set me free from disordered eating. God’s love brings freedom from bondage. […]