Repost from 11/30/2017 written while vacationing in NYC
4 years ago today our lives were turned upside down. 4 years ago today I almost lost my best friend and love of my life. 4 years ago today God showed me His great power and love and spared his life.
I cannot help but celebrate today and also look back and remember..
I remember thinking that he had finally reached his spicy food threshold as I was driving him to the ER for what I thought was indigestion.
I remember when they told me that my 36 year old husband was having a heart attack, I was in such shock for a while that I could not speak. Thankfully I had family around that could call people for me as I processed it all.
I remember it being a big day in the football world—Southern Miss ended their 2 year losing streak and won their game AND Auburn crazily beat Alabama in the last second of the game with an 800,000 yard touchdown. Ricky loves football so much, he would have prolonged going to the hospital had they gone into overtime, so thank you Auburn—that is one of the reasons I root for you. (Sorry family!)
I remember how scared I was sitting on the floor of the hospital waiting room, hugging his sweatshirt as loved ones poured in—there were at least 30+ family/friends that came up there. I also remember the ER doctor, the one who saved Ricky when he went into cardiac arrest, coming to ask if he made it through the cath—that really made it real.
I remember that, prior to the event, there were nights I woke up in terror in the middle of the night, putting my hand on his chest and praying over him not knowing why.
I remember that girl, who already struggled with fear of loss, sitting on that waiting room floor who could do absolutely nothing for him in that moment—he was in the cath lab and I could do nothing, nothing but completely put his life in God’s hands and wait. I could do nothing but fall on my face before God and pray. In that moment my faith was strengthened because in that moment that was all I had.
I am grateful every day to have him by my side. Yes, he does take care of himself and lives a lifestyle that prevents progression of this heredity disease, but I know whose hands his life is in and that we ultimately do not have control over that. This girl who was always a nervous wreck can now rest in the peace of knowing she nor anyone else is in control—God is.
Now, when Ricky jumps on a plane for work that has fluids squirting out of the engines on both sides, I may not like it but I can say “God’s got this.” When he drives down an icy mountain or is on a plane dodging tornadoes, I can say “God’s got this.” When he jumps in a car with someone who things driving while operating multiple electrical devices is a good idea, I can say “God’s got this.” (All true stories.)
When any difficulties come our way, I remember that girl in the waiting room years ago who had nothing but faith to offer, and how God came through and I can always say “God’s got this!” No matter what happens, I know He is in control.
Happy 4th “second
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